Update on Mom and Dad

It has been a pretty traumatic week to say the least. Today Karyn and I spoke with a psychiatrist that specializes in pregnancy and postpartum patients. It was good to decompress and share what the last week has been like, to relive some of the moments that were too shocking and overwhelming to even comprehend at the time and walk through them at a slower pace.

Today is "Day 3" for Karyn, the third day after giving birth. With virtually no sleep over the past 6 nights, her hormones in chaos because of her shrinking uterus and her breast milk letting down, recovering from major surgery (the C-section), the craziness of the past week, and her two little daughters in the NICU with whom she has not been able to spend much time with, things have been piling up emotionally. Day 3 is the day that the emotions start to come out. Karyn cried on and off throughout the night and day, has experienced moments of anxiety attacks, and has been generally exhausted.

As we talked through the events between Friday night and the delivery of the twins on Monday with the psychiatrist, Karyn was very clear that at no point was she ever afraid. In fact, she said that throughout the entire time she had this huge sense of peace and calm. She felt God telling her, "My peace I give you, my peace I leave with you". One evening in the delivery ward before the twins were born, she had a vision of a host of angels surrounding her bed dressed in glowing white doctor and nurse uniforms and they were tending to her and the twins within her. After their birth, she continues to have a similar vision, but of the angels surrounding Faith and Makaila in their incubators in the NICU.

What amazes me most about what she shared was how she responded to Faith falling into her underwear (that is literally how she was born). She said that the nurse asked her to walk over to the bed and then she pulled Faith out of her underwear and lay her beside Karyn on the bed she was sitting on. Faith's little arms were flailing around and she was trying to cry, but nothing came. Faith then grew still as the nurse and obstetrician gave her chest compressions. Karyn said she just kept encouraging Faith saying, "Breathe Faith, breathe. You're a fighter, I know you are a fighter, just keep fighting." And again, at no point during this traumatic time did she ever feel afraid. The whole time she felt God's peace and was totally calm. When I went into the OR to be with Karyn after the NICU team had whisked Faith off to stabilize her, Karyn was not upset at all. Later on in the recovery room when I went to see how she was doing, she was sitting in bed, completely calm, completely at peace, so much so that it was somewhat disconcerting. It was as if she had seen the future and saw our twins running and playing and new that what had just transpired was simply the way they chose to enter into this world and nothing more. She knew in her heart of hearts that Faith and Makaila were in God's hands, and that they will be just fine. Karyn's strength, courage, perseverance, and faith absolutely blow me away and challenge and grow my picture of who God is.

While Karyn is still experiencing God's peace, the whole experience of this last week has left both her and I warn out emotionally, mentally, and physically. We will remain in our suite at BC Women's Hospital until she is more stable emotionally and physically, so it looks like we will be here until Saturday. We are both pretty overwhelmed right now so little things like choosing what to eat, or how to get things done like paying bills, or answering the phone have become difficult to do. And our emotions are always very close to the surface. But we know that we will get through this season of this new journey we are on. And as always, we covet your prayers and support. Thank you for how you have so blessed us already.

Blessings to you,

Graham